'Waking up' is a very difficult experience, you have to analyse every step you take from that moment. Going with the masses no longer feels inclusive and accepting, it feels hollow and shameful, because you don't mean it; it's not you. Every decision you make, every opinion you have is called into question and you find yourself giving permission to go against things that you could never before. The smallest convention no longer holds the same meaning as it used to, it is just this thing with no stigma, no judgement. Just the action, for what it is. One day you'll wonder how you ever thought it was more, how you made it something more than it could ever possibly be, and you'll both pity and marvel at your capability to create invisible walls.